To Fanfic, or Not To Fanfic?

 

I’m not asking if you should read fanfiction, because you totally should; I’m asking myself if I should write some fanfiction.

The dilemma… or rather more honestly, dilemmas, are:

1) Insecurity

 I am actually a little bit shy when it comes to my fiction writing.

I’ll brag all day about knocking out a research paper in two hours, or ramble on this here blog, or even type up a nice review on Goodreads. I don’t even care about my bad grammar because I went for that particular phrase because I’m Texan, dammit, and my writing style is very… particular… as well. Which comes to the second point.

2) Writing Style

I write like I think and talk. I prefer it because it flows more naturally. I even use a talk-to-text program to help me capture a lot of my writing. Yes, I’ll go back and edit, because rambling doesn’t always flow, of course. But the main point is that not everyone out there is going to like my particular style, and honestly, I just don’t want to hear that.

3) Feedback

I’m not really looking for feedback on improving my writing.

Unless the feedback can help me with character development, plot points, and world creation. I love reading, and when I was younger, I desired to write a book. I’m not expecting to get published, I just REALLY REALLY need to get these stories out of my head. I’ve literally been obsessing over one for OVER A DECADE, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

I don’t want to change my writing style because I like it. I’m weird, and I will never want to change that.

4) Writer’s Block

I get carried away, and then frustrated.

Inspiration is very inconsistent in my life. Please see one of my first blog posts about the Inspiration Fairy and Mr. Motivation. I’ll go weeks with a drive of obsession, then months with the focus on other projects. Unless there is a deadline set by myself and I truly hold myself to it, (which I usually don’t if it’s difficult), or from another entity (like school or work), I don’t do the work.

Furthermore, when I get carried away, I get very jumbled up, and loose track of where I was going with the story. Which is why I started writing very detailed outlines.

I was able to write the outline of my first book, a complicated post-apocalyptic, at war dystopian Sci-fi.

Have I gotten around to actually writing the book?

Noooooooo! Not. At. All!

I have so much research to do. Hence…:

5) Research

I obsess over accuracy. I need to make sure things are as accurate as possible. That means that I’m going to find maps, plot out paths, research theoretical physics, plan out weather patterns, the works. For my Sci-fi book, I’ve researched what the world would look like after the ice caps melt so I could have my character run from the Appalachians to the Rockies and know if she has to cross an over-flooded river. She does, just so you know.

6) Ships

Shipping, as in “relationships” is a major thing in Fanfiction. And my ships are often… different, or rare? I know, rule 54, someone else out there has thought of it, so I’m not really alone; but dang if it ain’t terrifying having a world judge you on your pairing!

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Lol. ^ Thank you Tumblr.

Welp. I just wrote this to work through some things. I think I’ll write it, at my own pace, but have my partner be the one to set a deadline for me. I’m going to do this for this story and my books.

I can’t believe I just admitted I’m going to write a fanfiction. Oh jeez. You peoples (all two of you lol) know my face, aaahhh! Well, I won’t put my real name on it, obviously.

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Colored Hair: The Dilemma

Should I?

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Maybe not this ^ hairstyle per say, it is a bit too bold for me, but damn if I’m not super jealous when I see someone with colorful hair.

~~~

For years I have debated whether or not I should dye my hair. As far back as 5th grade, I can recall drawing myself with a light green streak in my hair. In later years I drew myself with a full head of blue curly hair.

That was my early years: dreaming of colors and boldness and being unique, searching for my identity so that I could fit in. My second year of college, I chopped off a ton of my hair, straightened it into an asymmetrical bob that would make anime fans proud, and added a clip on blue hair extension that did not match the texture of my hair at all. I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea, but we all do dumb things when we are young.

I never got around to dying my hair for some reason. SO many friends were doing it. I wanted to jump on the bandwagon, but never did. Ah, peer pressure, you couldn’t keep up with my need for professionalism… and laziness.

I figure other reasons I never dyed my hair when I was young was because at the time of my high school years, the administration forbade unnatural hair colors, so that nixed high school. In college I was too busy with homework, working multiple jobs, and surviving various relationships; I barely had time to take care of myself let alone cared what I looked like.

At some point I was living on my own. I moved past the flurry and chaos of my first years of college, and decided to take time to focus on myself. Independence fostered, I began working at a job that paid the bills enough, and my managers at that job did not care if their employees had crazy colored hair. The desire to be bold came back.

That’s when the “mermaid” trend was introduced.

Welp, those are some of my favorite colors. So I looked into getting my hair done up like a damn turquoise fish lady.

I’m terrified of big commitments like that (which explains a lot of my life, but let’s not open that can of worms!!) I was mostly fearful of going to bright and it making my face redder than it already is. Some days are better than others, where the flush of my face isn’t so discernible.

To compromise with my fear, I thought, why not so bright, but go for a more muted or darker dye?

Perfect!

10-year-old Chelsea would be happy, adult Chelsea would be happy, colors all around!

And then I found out that no matter what, I would have to bleach my hair.

That prompted a very quick and very loud “NO!” while I smacked the chemicals out of the hair stylist’s hands. (That last part didn’t actually happen.)

So no awesome turquoise magic mermaid locks for Chell-bell.

I don’t like having long hair anyway. Too sweaty.

Years have passed since that time. I have “matured,” I guess… Well at least so far in hair care. I’m much more lax about styling my hair. I have embraced my wavy hair and prefer to not have to do a lot of maintenance. I hardly ever blow dry, never straighten, and maybe once in a while I’ll throw in some curl-boosting mousse. I don’t own a hair straightener, and have to borrow a hair dryer from my sisters if I care to blow-dry my hair; and I don’t care to blow-dry my hair.

I’m very lazy.

All this, and I still haven’t taken the plunge to dye my hair.

Despite this reality, I have made a pact to myself that when I’m old and gone silver-haired, I will become RAINBOW-HAIRED GRANNY and will be known throughout all the lands as the “eccentric” lady who uses a T-Rex grabber claw to menace and reach for soup, and frolic about the neighborhood with colorful locks on her head singing vintage Disney songs. I want to change my hair color whenever I want and I figured by that time, I’ll have a great base to do so. I’d just let my hair grow out a bit, close my eyes and pick a color at random, and tada! RAINBOW-HAIRED GRANNY. And when I want a new doo, I just shave it off to make room for a new hue.

This is a fact. It’s happening. You’ll see. In 40 to 50 years. Be on the lookout for Rainbow-Haired Granny, coming soon to your ‘hood.

In the meantime, the urge to dye my hair a crazy color still persists, with all the doubts ringing in my head as strong as ever.

Why not neutral or more natural colors though, Chelsea? Why go for color at all if you are so fearful?

Because, dear random person I made up in my head to talk to: if I’m going to dye my hair, causing unavoidable damage in the process–those chemicals fry your hair–as well as investing a lot of time and upkeep that requires special shampoos and touch-up treatments for fading and roots, then I might as well do something bold and daring to make me feel like the physical and fiscal torture was all worth it.

So I’ve found a middle-ground.

OIL SLICK HAIR

 

I’ve always wanted to go darker, maybe not black, but at least darker browns. Because I have a pink-toned face with some yellows, I know that if I go lighter, my face will look redder, which I do not like. I once stopped going to a particular hair stylist because they suggested I go blonde.

Never again. >:l

Darker sounds better because I believe that it will draw out a natural contrast with my light blue eyes. (Yes, I have really light blue eyes, go look at my About Me page for proof. That’s an untouched photo.) I’m not one to wear makeup as I have combination skin that feels like it’s drowning under a single layer of face mousse foundation, hence the desire to draw away from the days that I have a pinker face.

With oil slick hair, there is less emphasis on big areas of bright colors, so dying the hair requires less bleach. Less bleach means less damaged hair. The Tricoci University of Beauty Culture gave these pointers about oil slick hair dying, and it was definitely promising. (Be warned, their site has an automatic live chat function, I was not expecting that to pop up, but hey, it was first on the Google list and I can’t argue with credentials of beauty schools because I know nothing about them, whatevs.)

I like the idea that the base of an oil slick hair dye is the requirement for a cool brown or cool black. This will combat my warm-colored face! Also, cool colors recede while warm colors advance, that’s why reds, yellows, and oranges all pop out first in a picture, and why red cars get pulled over more often. Because we can see them. Fun fact: red is the first color we perceive after we are born, assuming the baby is not born with a diagnosis of protanomaly colorblindness.

If all else fails, I can just go for sectional hair color. The 10-year-old me from 5th grade, drawing herself with a stripe of green hair is a little more possible.

I really am going to do something, soon. Hopefully for my birthday. How often do we get to fulfill a childhood fantasy??